Dodgy Turkey Has Local Couple On Charge.
It was brought to the attention of The Askam Herald this week that a family living on Ireleth Court Road had a shock when their bargain Turkey fought back.
The Mother of the family, 57, failed to follow the instructions on the packaging after purchasing a 14lb bird from a local retailer. Instead of plucking and gutting the Turkey she also made the mistake of setting the freezer at -300 degrees, instead of the recommended -5 degrees, causing it to be suspended in a cryogenic state. The mistake came to light on Christmas Eve when the bird was removed from the freezer and left to thaw in the sink. The family began to hear 'strange' noises just after 6 PM, but put them down to revellers passing by. After retiring to bed at 12.30 AM they were rudely awoken by the Turkey running chaotically around the bungalow, calling at the top of it's vocal range.

In a fit of panic, the husband, 61, opened the front door and kicked it into the garden, although the bird hit it's head on the garden wall partially stunning it and stopping the cacophony, the husband also hit his head after the kick, falling backwards and connecting with the oven. While the Mother phoned for an ambulance, the Turkey came round and disappeared into the night. After attending to her Husband, the couple waited for the ambulance to arrive before being given the OK from paramedics. On their advice the couple retired to bed for the remainder of the night. At 6AM they were again woken, but this time it was the Police knocking their front door through with a ram. Before the couple had time to react, the Police marksmen had guns at their temples. They were led into the living room where they were presented with a large pile of Christmas presents labelled with the names of neighbours and the neighbours' friends. To the horror of the couple, on top of the huge pile lay a single feather from a Turkeys tail. The Police have refused to accept the couple's story and cannot put any credence to a Turkey robbing the residents of Ireleth Court Road. The couple have been charged with breaking and entering and are due to appear in court in the near future. The Askam Herald will once again report back as soon as there is any movement.