New Sporting Event On Askam Calendar
Although this story should be on the sports pages, we at the Askam Herald couldn't help but put it in the main body of the paper. It has been declared by the Askam Parish Council (or someone who lives near the Temperance Hall) that they have secured for the Village a major sporting coup.
The high tech, high speed sport of Formula 1 is considering doubling the amount of races to be held in Britain. Bernie Ecclestone has been presented with the draft proposal and was said to be 'over the moon' that a new race could be run in such a beautiful village, such as our own. He has agreed to come to Askam on a fact finding mission.
The course will start at the Station Gates, the grid will stretch down Duddon Road. When the red lights go out they will stream up Dalton Road towards the new road. Turning right onto the Lots Bridge they will head down New Road then straight down Parklands Drive, taking a 90 degree right onto Wakefield Street. Exiting Parklands Estate onto Alexander Place and down to Beach Street.

Reaching speeds of nearly 180 mph they will have to break to take the bend that gives way to The Headlands. Following the road round, travelling down Estuary Park and then to complete the revolution back onto Duddon Road. The whole lap will take only 1minute 26 secs and will be achieved at the average speed of 130 miles per hour.
There is a little problem with the scheme as some doubt has arisen, this concerns anybody who has a garden on a corner of the track, as an element of garden will have to be removed to accomodate the bankings for the corners although these people will receive compensation of a free pint, a packet of crisps and a nights accomodation in the toilets situated at the main bus stop.
We at the Askam Herald are supporting the bid whole heartedly and believe that this can only be a good thing for the village and its worldwide promotion. If you have any views on this story or are worried about the garden losing effects of the proposal, please don't hesitate to get in touch and have your views voiced within these pages.