Askams Lazy Men
The result of a year long study by the Women’s Institute has shown that Askam men rank the lowest when it comes to doing the household chores.
Through several experiments, the ladies proved beyond any reasonable doubt that the time taken to do a task was considerably shorter than the amount of time it took the men to lift themselves from the sofa. The President told The Askam Herald that ‘if you were to reach for the television remote control, a man can jump into action within five milliseconds, but to get them to make a coffee effectively took them just over seventeen hours.’
The evidence gathered shows that such a claim is actually very true. It showed that every man needed at least 12 hours sleep before having the energy to fill the kettle and plug it in. If the task was interrupted by anything at all, it needed to be restarted, and that meant going back to bed again for another twelve hours.
The study was compiled by sending forms out to all the divorced women in the village with a cheque for £15 attached that could be cashed if the form had been filled in and returned. A sample question taken straight from the form shows the scientific nature of the study…
A. Yes
B. Extremely
C. Never got off his butt.
When the results were compiled a handpicked number of women were then asked to go on to film and talk about their experiences with men. The WI has approached the newly launched Askam TV station to show the programme.
In retaliation a group of men have got together and will be compiling their own research over the next couple of months. The groups spokesman said, ‘Can I have six pints of lager, two pints of Guinness and an orange juice for the puff.’ After downing several rounds of drinks, they got down to the business of the day by talking about the project. Nothing concrete came out of the meeting, however they said that when a decision is taken they will contact the Askam Herald.
We will be returning to this story very shortly as and when the programme is shown on Askam TV.
