Flying Creature Eater

Given the rise in the number of flying creepy crawlies in the villages, a proposal by a Parish Councillor has become the hot topic of conversation for all the pubs, clubs and social gatherings.
The Parish Councillor, who has asked to remain nameless, has suggested that each household should try and produce a genetically enhanced ‘flying creature eater’ of some description. They outlined their own attempt at the process, ‘first I bought a chemistry set from the pound shop and began to mix the potions together. After several attempts I got some liquid to turn from blue to green. I tried to inject this into a small dog that was passing by my window, but its owner wouldn’t let me.
‘I then managed to capture a fly and stun him with a magazine. My thinking was to turn a perfectly normal fly into a genetic mutant that would turn on its own kind and eat any other flies in its vicinity.
‘The experiment didn’t go as expected, I managed to push the fly inside out when I inserted the needle. However the second attempt was much better. Instead of stunning the fly, I asked one whether it would like a slice of cake and a cup of tea, and to my surprise it did. After eating the drug laced cake the fly died instantly and dissolved in front of my eyes.
‘This goes to show that I am on the right track, I just need to get the fly to live and to turn it into the mutant that I envisaged.

‘If we introduce the idea into the two schools and get the teachers behind it we can begin to push the project out into the wider community. Once the parents get hold of it we could start to organise ‘show and tell’ days where successes can be showcased.
The Councillor asked the Chairman to put it to the floor and to take a formal vote on the issue. The Parish Councillors agreed in principal to the advocating of a village wide experiment on the grounds that if it could be achieved Askam would be placed on the map, but they were a little hesitant about standing behind the proposal in case the Askam Herald got hold of the story and put a stupid spin on the idea.
The Askam Herald however is behind the idea as it will take the minds off the Councillors wanting to install more benches. If you are interested in joining in the experiment, please contact the Herald and we will pass your name on to the Councillor.