Eurovision Chaos
The European Song Contest was thrown into disarray last night when a last minute legal objection to the winning song, by Greece, was entered into the European Court of Justice. Just minutes after the result was declared, a spokesman for the committee walked down the steps of Headquarter House and stunned the press with the following statement…
“We have had to declare the result a provisional one after being contacted by Interpol. The winning song is subject to a charge of plagiarism and will be dealt with once the Judges have had a good night sleep and a rack of toast for their breakfast. We ask that you maintain silence about this situation as it could bring a lot of embarrassment for the winning, cheating scum.”
The problem arose when Askam resident Mrs Hipkiss, 33, realised that she had actually penned the song while doing a spot of whistling late one Tuesday afternoon. She had been standing on the lawn admiring the new arch, when the tune ‘just came to me’. It was a lovely moment and I look back on it with fond emotions.
Interpol has refused to take the matter more seriously and agreed only to phone Headquarter House after accepting of a few donuts. However, Police in Askam and surrounding Furness area have gathered together, formed a strategic committee, picked the name ‘Operation Hipkiss Hell’. The first step for the new strategic planners was to get detectives working around the clock, knocking on doors, knocking on heads, and trying to gather the evidence together. The Police are now interviewing almost everybody who she came in contact with and have formed a large orderly queue around the block, down the street and into Dalton Road.
The Police are appealing for more witnesses, so if you knew Mrs. Hipkiss in the summer of 1989 please contact them directly, on the local number.
We at the Askam Herald will bring you the result of the case once it is declared; it has been scheduled for early in 2026.
